I'm a Mother

For Mother's Day, I wanted to feel like a mom.  Last year, I was madly in love with a tiny person inside me, but I wasn't quite a mom yet.  Mostly, I was just big and hot and hungry.  Devin made sure to pamper me last year, but the day really was just about me.

Something amazing happened last summer.  A tiny baby Calvin was placed in my arms and suddenly nothing was about me anymore.  I wanted nothing more than to take care of his every need.  I felt like a completely new person.  And, in many ways, I was new.

Since then, many little things about me changed.  My dreams, my instincts, my goals, and my thoughts have all had at least some shifts.  Some changes have been more challenging than others.  But, even on the hard days, I have loved motherhood so, so much.  

When Calvin reaches for me, or says mama, or buries his face in my shoulder, my life feels complete.  When I pick him up from sleep, and he melts into me, I feel content.  I loved to hold him and rock him and smell his hair while he sleeps.  But he's also becoming so much fun!  He does hand motions to songs.  He dances and giggles and will gladly find anyone's nose if you ask him.  He points out his belly button and points his little finger trying to be bossy.  He grabs favorite books and toys when you ask him where they are and says "mmm!" with every bite of food.

For Mother's Day, I wanted to enjoy being a mother.  I didn't feel like I needed a break from it, but I wanted a day where I didn't care if Calvin fought his nap or teething wasn't going well or there were other things I needed to do.  So, we read extra books.  We sang extra songs.  We played extra long. We let him stay up a little late, too.  Calvin was an absolute joy the whole day long, and I soaked up every minute of it.  Then, I rocked him extra long.  I sure do love being this little boy's mother.

Happy (day after) Mother's Day!

Dr. Stephens

Just over five years ago, I met Devin.  During our first conversation, he told me he was "trying to get into med school."  I put the quotation marks around the phrase because I'd known so many people who were "trying to get into med school" before.  They were usually pre-biology majors who changed their minds within a couple semesters.  

Within a short time, I learned that Devin was legitimately trying.  He took his MCAT less than two weeks after that conversation.  He was submitting applications and secondaries and setting up interviews all while finishing his last semester of undergrad--with a major in astrophysics.  

Of course, he also made lots of time for me.  It was a pretty amazing time.  He proposed two days before graduation.  It was perfect and wonderful.  At that point, medical school suddenly became a part of my future, too.  We spent another few months interviewing together (I toured apartments and scoped the town) alongside planning our wedding.  Looking back at that time, it feels like we were just babies.  We were so, so young and naive, but I wouldn't change it.

Once we arrived in Augusta, there were many good times.  But, there were tests and test weeks and tests that didn't so great and tests that went better and then more tests and giant board tests, too.  For two years our lives revolved around a test schedule.  Then came rotations and call and overnight call and weekend shifts and of course, even more tests...and more boards.

Outside of all that, though, we were growing up and growing together and also growing our family.  We got another dog, had a baby, and bought a house.  A new car came along and new jobs and new hobbies.  Devin turned cooking into an outlet, and then we turned it into an art together.  We made time to laugh and dance and sing.  There were hiking trips and camping trips and trips out of town.  Now, we are about to take a more permanent trip out of town.

Just last week, we celebrated our fourth anniversary.  Yesterday, we celebrated Devin becoming a Doctor.  While it's not always been easy, this has been a wonderful, perfect four years.  Happy (belated) Anniversary, Dr. Stephens.  Love.