If things were different...

...I would have started back at work today.  Even though I know it's not happening, it's struck a chord with me thinking about it this week.  I imagine my first day back would have been a few phone calls, some paperwork, sorting through messages and mail, talking with a family or two, making a referral or two, and thinking about Calvin during and between each and every one of those tasks.  I probably would have cried at least once.

Thankfully, things are not different.  I'm making faces at my amazing child while I type this.  Already this morning, we had snuggle time after Devin had to leave early for work.  We did tummy time.  I sang silly songs with Calvin.  I nursed my baby in the rocking chair.  We played with the dogs.  I took out butter to soften for making banana bread.  I changed a diaper or two.  I stole a couple dozen kisses.  We traded a few dozen smiles.

Later today, I'll change more diapers.  I'll feed Calvin again and again and again.  We'll do more tummy time and read a couple books.  I'll love on my dogs, and I'll probably have to remind them to be careful at least once.  I'll try to clean, and I'll try to have dinner ready when Devin gets home.  I will kiss Calvin too many times to count and snuggle him to sleep at nap time.  I'll take pictures of him so that I don't forget what he was like today as I've done nearly every day since birth.

Today I am grateful.  While I can imagine what life would be like if it were different, it isn't what I want.  Right now, I have nearly exactly what I want.  Life is pretty close to perfect.  And, as I tell Devin nearly every day, I love our life.  I think we're standing in just about the greenest grass I ever did see.